I am a wimp. A wussy. I'm scared, afraid of the unknown and
I hate to admit it. I live in a shell and that's what causes me problems. I
wrote about regret and while I realised that there were some choices that I
could make to avoid regretting a few things which actually mattered to me and
were bothering me since quite a long time.
I felt that I had lost everything and that I was living a
hopeless life with nobody to go home to. And it was all because something went
wrong; in my head. I assumed a lot of things but not for one moment did I
consider that I should man up and address the issue. These assumptions caused
me to lose my shit. I went from the cheerful guy to this lost, all-time low
version of myself and as good as I get at it, I tried concealing it. Every
pressure cooker has to let out it's steam and that's what I did. I got away
from everyone and tried something new. It seemed to work well at first and it
did but then I realised that it was all a mere show to convince myself that
everything was fine. It wasn't.
I heard this story called the Runaway Dinosaur and a line in
it, '...what makes you special, is out of all of the different dinosaurs in the
big wide world, you have the mother (in my case, friends) who is(are) just
right for you and who will always love you.' and that made sense to me. I had
become someone I never wanted to be and I wasn't comfortable living that way.
And so, I decided to man up and face it.
I might've done a lot of wrongs but if you matter to me,
know that I will always care for you and even if there are misunderstandings
due to whatsoever reasons, always remember,
'Meet me on the battlefield,
Even on the darkest night,
I will be your sword and shield your camouflage
And you will be mine.'
-Battlefield (Svrcina)
Damn I feel much better now. I would've named this blog 'The
Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' but then that's already taken.
Thanks for reading!
Stay tuned.
Toodles :)
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