Anger

NOTICE: The following post is mildly disturbing and may contain inappropriate descriptions. Reader discretion is advised.

What is anger?

Anger is a perfectly normal and usually healthy emotion. It exists in all animals and can be visibly noticed when there is a change in the expressions of the person/animal. These changes are usually seen in the body language ie the way a person responds, interacts, etc. Anger is intense and most of the times it implies that your basic boundaries have been violated. 

Why bother?

While it is normal to be angry, you can't let anger become your normal. It serves like a drug and it feels good because it pumps you up, literally. Your heart rate and blood pressure increase which is definitely not good if you are suffering from a heart condition. Even for normal people, anger ends up leaving you in a state of isolation because people like being around happy people than the grumpy ones. And it has often been proven that angry isolated people take up crime and illegal activities because it fuels their drive. 

What is the solution?

You can never permanently eradicate anger unless you meditate for years at a stretch and detach yourself from materialistic stuff. Anger can be driven off, temporarily, using various means of distraction such as music, yoga, books, sitting under the open sky, isolation(not recommended), etc.

There are the classics such as 'count backwards from 10-1' and 'take a deep breath' but they don't work out so well most of the times otherwise we would've not faced terrorism as a daily threat.

My experiences with anger:

Being an IED patient isn't the best feeling in the world. There is normal and then there is f*cked up.

IED which literally stands for intermittent explosive disorder means what it says. Explosive, unstable, ready to blow up at the slightest nudge. That's what being me feels like. I have been like this since I was 13 and it has led to other disorders and basically an abnormal life. Anger is me, anger is my normal. In the last 6 years I have learnt to keep myself calm for as long as I can, starting right from the zero second mark to say, 3-4 hours. I use all of the above mentioned techniques and they help me be normal.

Under the rage, I have done bad things. I have shattered windows and glasses with my hands. I have broken a guy's hand because he tried to bully me. I have even made people bleed and I am not proud of any of this. 

When I get angry, which is pretty quickly I don't remain myself. It becomes increasingly difficult to see things rationally and analyse a valid situation. My mind is taken over by the adrenaline rush and I step into a fight which obviously doesn't always end up well for me. I must admit though, the time period when I am angry, no matter how bad it is, it feels amazing. The sudden surge of energy, the urge to destroy, feels good in a way but it isn't healthy for me and for those around.

So I try to keep myself calm as long as I can but if you get on my nerves, you're messing with the wrong person.

You all are free to judge me. This is my experience with anger.

ANGER IS NOT GOOD. NUTELLA IS GOOD. HITLER STOLE MY NUTELLA NOW I'M GONNA KILL HIM. OH WAIT...

Thanks for reading.

Stay tuned.

Toodles :)